Gravy Training

I don't work in DFID but I have contacts everywhere. One of them passed this email from Malcolm Tucker on to me. I post it at great personal risk for your reading pleasure.

G20 Zero Emissions Target

Ahead of the G20 (formerly the Secret 7) Government spinmeisters have been shitting bricks to make sure everything goes smoothly. And after the weekend's news-cycle, (Home Secretary 5: This Time She's Angry), looky-looky what got left on a photocopier this morning!

Blackberry Pie Action

Techies at number 10 will be freaking out, but for a couple of hours today there was hot Blackberry pie action leaking all over Westminster. And of course I was first in line for a portion of this tasty but highly confidential treat!

That's right, Deep Throatminster got some peeps at Malcolm Tucker's emails to his Scottish attack dog Jamie 'heart in the right place' MacDonald. Take a look at this. More pie for those who finish their plates later!

International Envelopment

What's happening at the Department or International Development? Shhh. Nothing. According to one of my moles, there are more gagging orders at DfID than at a Max Mosley party. Everyone knows the Department has some of the finest young political brains this side of Washington. That hasn't stopped sarcastic, horse-faced Head of Press - Judy 'Vinegar Tits' Molloy - from circulating this memo to senior staff, warning them to keep minister Simon Foster on a short rope. Pint-sized Foster's blunder on the radio about an 'unforeseeable' war may yet cost him dear. Who knows? What we DO know is that Judy Molloy is a stuck-up, sneering, supercilious cow who looks like she's one blood transfusion away from being a horror-movie phantom, according to my mole.

Malcolm Fucker Wants To Silence Simon Fluster

I don't work in DFID but I have contacts everywhere. One of them passed this email from Malcolm Tucker on to me. I post it at great personal risk for your reading pleasure.
 

Twats Tweet

Deep Throatminster has been monitoring tweets from the only two twats in the village: Malcolm Tucker and his Chief Press Officer Jamie MacDonald.
 

Tucker On Warpath

With Westminster seething with rumours of war in the Middle East, the PM's 'Special Enforcer' Malcolm Tucker is launching a series of pre-emptive strikes of his own. I can exclusively reveal that the most fearsome rhyming slang in politics has emailed Cabinet members warning them to shut up and not rock the boat. Or they'll be 'tossed overboard like the flailing f***ing human jetsam you are...' Nice.

Deep Throatminster

Welcome wise reader to the all-new Deep Throatminster blog! I'm beaming this to you from the white hot mantel of Westminster's political machine. DT isn't some speccy wannabe in his parents basement - I'm the realio dealio. Basically, if it ain't on Deep Throatminster...